Motherhood calls us to wear many different hats. Housekeeper, teacher, cook, playmate, doctor, budget keeper, personal shopper, minister…the list goes on and on. I don’t know about you, but I can never seem to wear them all well. It’s seems that in order to get better in any one area, I must neglect another. Wearing them all at the same time is utterly impossible, at least for me. After a decade of motherhood, I still sometimes fall into the distorted trap that I am to wear them all and wear them well. When I inevitably fail to do so, I am left sitting in feelings of inadequacy as a mother.
Why Moms Start to Feel Inadequate
I find I most often fall into this trap when my eyes drift to those around me and comparison creeps in. Whether it’s looking at social media or the moms around me, they all seem to do something better than me.
Her kids never seem to fight. I must be doing something wrong with mine. Maybe we aren’t connecting enough as a family? Take away screens and incorporate more family time.
Her kids devour books and mine begrudge reading. We must not be reading enough. Time to start adding more reading to our days.
They are such healthy eaters. Why don’t my kids eat that way? I must be giving them too much junk. Time to clear out all the junk, get a collection of healthy recipes and meal prep with my kids. Surely that will change their appetite.
Her house is always so clean and organized. Why can’t I keep mine clean? I just need to find a better routine that I can stick with everyday. Time to come up with a new plan.
The list goes on and on. The problem is that we shift our focus to others, see their areas of strength against our weakness, and then devise our own plans for how we will be better. We set out to implement our new plans. It seems to work for a little while, but motivation eventually wanes, those areas that became neglected start screaming for attention, old habits set in, and we are left frustrated and defeated.
And missing from it all? Christ.
See, when we take our eyes off Christ, it’s easy to quickly lose our way. To get swept away in the wave of comparison and what we should be doing to measure up.
But I have good news for you and me. Christ never asked us to wear all the hats. He never asked us to be perfect and great at everything. In fact, it’s in our weaknesses that his strength is made perfect (2 Corinthians 12:9). He also doesn’t ask us to run the same race as those we compare ourselves to. No, He’s asked us to run our own race; the one he has set before us (Hebrews 12:1-2).
How to Overcome Feelings of Inadequacy in Motherhood
So if Christ isn’t asking for your perfection, what is he asking for? I believe Christ is asking for your obedience and faithfulness with the little you do already have.
As I’ve already said, it is impossible to be great at all aspects of motherhood. So if you find yourself in the trap of comparison and on the road to trying to make yourself better in your own strength, pause and bring it to the Lord. Give him your shortcomings and feelings of inadequacy. Ask him where your focus should be. He may not even be asking you for change in the area in which you think you need to change. But He will show you where your focus needs to be. Then, give him the little you do have in faith and he will be faithful to multiply it.
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