Self-care is more than bubble baths, wine and pedicures. Learn what true self-care for moms at home really is.
Is anyone else tired of the modern picture of self-care for women–especially moms? Or is it just me? I’ve learned that wine, pedicures, bubble baths, and girls nights don’t cut it. While these things have their place, they are more like band-aids, providing surface level comfort while covering up the actual deep down needs of a mother. They don’t provide the genuine self-care and rejuvenation we desperately need as stay-at-home moms.
What is Self-Care?
The formal definition of self-care is “the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one’s own health; the practice of taking an active role in protecting one’s own well-being and happiness.” I love the key words in these definitions. Let’s take a look…
First, the practice of. Y’all, self-care isn’t a once and a while or every now and then thing. It is a practice. A regular, daily, practice.
Second, taking action or active role. Self-care doesn’t happen by accident. It is intentional and requires us to be intentional in making time for it.
Third, to preserve or protect. This implies that self-care is a guard for something important that has the ability to be lost. We don’t protect or try to preserve things that hold no value to us.
Finally, health, well-being, happiness. I don’t know about you, but those are 3 words I value tremendously. 3 things that are very much worth taking a daily, active role towards preserving and protecting. And if I’m being honest, 3 things that make mothering a whole lot easier if I have them.
So if pedicures and bubble baths aren’t true self-care, what is?
Like much in life, there is no one-size fits all plan for self-care. We are all wired differently, walking though different circumstances, with differing needs. With that said, true self-care should nurture the following key areas: spiritual needs, mental and emotional needs, and physical needs.
Here are some true self-care ideas for moms at home.
Time in Solitude and Prayer
Ever feel like you have everything you ever wanted or needed in life and still felt something was missing? Yeah, me too. That’s because we were never meant to walk this earth alone without relationship with our heavenly Father. Time spent with God fills that void and hole that only He can fill. And if Jesus is our perfect example for how to live our lives, then we should follow His lead and make intentional time to meet with our Father (Luke 5:16, Mark 1:35, Matthew 14:23).
Exercise
The benefits abound, physically and mentally. Find a form you enjoy, or get creative, and make it an act of worship. It doesn’t have to take up a lot of time either. God can do abundantly more than you could ever imagine with the little time you can commit.
Time Spent Dreaming and Thinking on God’s Promises
Taking time to dream and think of the possibilities that exist from God’s promises fuels hope, and hope gives us much to live for. What do you want for your family? career? home? finances? The list goes on. Dreaming isn’t just for kids. It’s a vital and important part of your own self-care.
Journaling
Sometimes it helps to get all the mental clutter in your head down on paper. The ideas, the confusion, the emotions. Put it on paper and leave a little lighter. Even better, make it a letter to God. Now it’s prayer time and put at the feet of Jesus.
Resting – Mentally and Physically
There were times I thought resting meant laying on the couch while I scrolled on my phone. But I would never feel rested because my mind was getting a constant bombardment of information. For me, true rest is unplugging and taking time away from the gotta-do’s in order to just be.
True Laughter
Proverbs 17:22 says, “a cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” Little is better than gathering with someone you love most and laughing until you cry. It truly is the best medicine. You’ll walk away feeling energized and as if a weight has been lifted.
Setting Boundaries
Saying no to certain demands helps you prioritize and say yes to the things that truly matter to you and God. Make your self-care a priority and set boundaries to protect it.
Therapy
Sometimes our circumstances or the weight of what we carry becomes too much. There is no shame in seeking the help of someone professionally trained to help you navigate your way through.
Personal Growth and Development
I once read a quote in a book that said, “If you are not growing, you are dying.” Heavy, yes, but I believe this to be true. We were never meant to stop learning and growing. Continue to pursue those hobbies, topics and dreams that interest you. Just because you became a mom doesn’t mean you have to give them up. This will help you maintain a personal identity outside of motherhood.
The Biggest Objection to Self-Care
Now I know what you are thinking, there’s no time. I used to make that same excuse, and then I realized it really was just an excuse. Now granted, depending on your season of motherhood, time is more limited. A mother of an infant or toddler has less time than a mother with younger elementary kids who are bit more independent. Likewise, the amount of children a mother has plays into available time as well. But I firmly believe every mother has time they can use to invest in themselves each day, even if it’s just 10 minutes.
If you haven’t already, I encourage you to start finding time for self-care by determining your priorities (hint: your own self-care should be a priority!). Once you have your priorities (vision), you can better schedule your day, making sure your time is going towards those areas that matter to you, God, and your family. I’m certain that when you no longer leave your day to chance, you’ll find there actually is time for self-care as a mom at home.
Final Thoughts
I hope today’s reading has shed light on what true self-care for moms at home really is. I also hope it encourages you to begin a daily practice of taking action to preserve and protect your own health and well-being. You are worth it, and your family will benefit from your intentional efforts to invest in yourself. Start small, but start. You won’t regret it.