Managing the demands of a household, kid’s schedules, and family needs can be mentally and physically exhausting. Learn how to reduce mental load and decision fatigue as a stay-at-home mom with practical tips, encouragement, and self care.
After 10 years as a stay-at-home mom, I recently went back to work part time. It’s been a transition as I settle into a new rhythm, but it’s gone smoother than anticipated for which I am grateful. I’ve realized that going back to work has initially meant continuing in all my stay-at-home mom responsibilities while taking on extra hours for work outside the home. In other words, all the same responsibilities, but half the time to tend to them.
I’ve really been intentional to take time to reflect on what is and isn’t working in this new season so I can ask for the help I need. That said, the habits and systems I put in place while still at home have helped tremendously in keeping my mental load in check and decision fatigue at bay.
What is Mental Load and Decision Fatigue?
Mental Load simply refers to the burden of thoughts and to-do’s that are on your mind. Housework that needs to be tended to, children needs, appointments, relationships, challenges you may be facing. Anything you are thinking about that needs to be addressed in some way is part of your mental load. Decision fatigue is simply fatigue that arises from having to make too many decisions. Carrying too much of a mental load while needing to make too many decisions is a recipe for physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion. And if we are exhausted as moms, we’re not showing up as our best self. So how do we address them?
Practical Tips to Relieve Mental Load and Decision Fatigue
Meet With God
I feel like this is my number 1 tip for everything. Whenever I am giving any sort of practical advice, it always begins with meet with God. I’ve said it before and I will continue to say it, this was the number one transformative habit I implemented into my daily routine. Taking time to meet with God at the beginning of the day gives perspective, direction, peace and calm to lead you the rest of the day. It is vital. I often use this time to ask God directly what He wants me to focus on for the day.
Prioritize
It’s important to know what your priorities are. Is it your goal to stay physically fit? Then exercise needs to make it into your daily schedule. Do you value daily connection with your family? Then scheduling family time is a must. Knowing your goals and values and prioritizing them each day will keep you focused on what truly matters to you. It will also show you what you can delegate, postpone for a later time, or take off the list all together.
Plan Your Day
This is so helpful in keeping you focused. It also takes the constant wonder out of when a given task is going to get done. Before keeping a daily schedule in my appointment planner, my mind would constantly think about everything I had to do. I was never present. Once I started designating a time for tasks and writing it down, my mind cleared. I didn’t have to wonder when the dishes would get done because I already knew at what part of my day I planned to tend to that task. My mind was free to be in the present moment.
Create Routines
Routines and rhythms are such a critical part of our day. They can sometimes be challenging to start and maintain in the beginning, but eventually, they become automatic requiring little to no thinking power or decision making. Some of my favorite routines that I am grateful for each day:
- AM Routine (me time) – exercise, bible, and prayer before the kids start their day.
- PM Routine – tidying the high traffic areas of the house and prepping everything for the next day (me and the kids)
- Meal Planning – Every weekend, I make a dinner menu for the week. I reference it every morning so I know what’s for dinner that evening and what early prep I may need to do. This worked so well for dinner that I took time before the start of the school year to come up with 3 weekly lunch menu rotations for the kids. I no longer have to think about what to pack for lunch each day. I simply look at the given day and week and it’s already there for me. No thinking necessary.
- Weekly Brain Dump – Every Sunday night I take 5-10 minutes to write down everything that needs to be addressed. I then prioritize from most necessary to least necessary. I also look at what I can delegate to others. The simple act of writing everything down in a designated space I can refer back to clears so much headspace. A must in helping get all that mental clutter out of your head.
- Daily and Weekly Cleaning Schedule – I have 3 chores I do every morning: make the bed, unload the dishwasher, and do a load of laundry. The rest are on a weekly or monthly rotation. I use an app to help me keep track, but you could easily use a printed chart you create. Again, I don’t have to wonder and decide what I am going to clean that day. I simply open my app and go down the list for that week. Since I tailored the tasks to my home, it took time and planning upfront, but once created, it’s seamless.
- Designate a Set Day for Appointments and Errands – Instead of running out each day for different appointments or errands, schedule one or two days for all or most of them. Then, take time to sit down in the morning and plan your route to be most efficient.
Rest Daily
This is critical. You needn’t feel guilty for taking time to rest each day. Rest isn’t a luxury, it is a necessity. Especially when you are home all day with little ones who demand and require your constant care and attention. My favorite time to take a rest is after lunch. It’s much needed after fruitful work all morning, and it restores my energy–mentally and physically–for the afternoon and evening. Use this time to read a good book (preferably fiction), take a nap, or sit with God and pray. Just stay away from your phone. Scrolling or responding to messages and emails isn’t restful or recharging.
Final Thoughts
If you’ve found yourself carrying a heavy mental load lately and struggling with decision fatigue, you’re not alone. Thankfully, there are practical steps you can take to help lighten the load.
- Meet with God – Give him your burdens and ask for his help. He is faithful to help.
- Next, make sure the responsibilities and tasks line up with your values and priorities. If they don’t, it may be worth getting rid of them.
- Plan your day – Getting thoughts and all the to-do’s down on paper and scheduled clears up so much mental space
- Create Routines – these will eventually become automatic, leading to less decision fatigue
- REST – your mind and body aren’t meant to forge ahead all day every day. Rest is vital and necessary for your mental, physical, and emotional well-being.
It’s important to note that you shouldn’t try to tackle and incorporate all of these at once. Pick the one that speaks to you most and start there. If you are starting with routines, pick 1 routine to start. Once you have it down, pick another. I have found that starting small in a way that allows me to be consistent has given me the best success, and I believe it will do the same for you.
Interested in reading more? Try “Are You An Introverted Mom? How to Leverage Your Personality Type to Recharge and Gain Energy.”