Are you constantly feeling depleted of energy? Do you long for just an ounce of the energy you had before children? Find out how you can leverage your introverted nature for an energy boost.
I’m an introvert, and I lived most of my life bummed about my personality type. I wanted to be the sociable, up-for-anything extrovert. Extroverts were always the fun people, and introverts were pegged the socially awkward, boring ones. The thing is, I never felt socially awkward talking to people or anxiety going into new situations. So while I knew I wasn’t extroverted, I also didn’t feel like I fit the stereotype of an introvert.
It wasn’t until I attended a conference where I learned the true meaning of introvert and extrovert that I began to embrace my introverted nature. It also gave me insight into why I always felt energy depleted as a mother and changes I could make to help myself recharge.
What is an Introvert?
By definition, an introvert is a person who prefers calm and less stimulating environments. They are more introspective, focusing more on internal thoughts, feelings and moods, and tend to feel drained after socializing. They regain their energy by spending time alone.
Of course, the degree to which the above traits are experienced vary from person to person. Some may need a short time of solitude to reenergize, while others need long periods of time.
The big aha moment for me was learning that, as an introvert, solitude was necessary for recharge.
Introversion and Motherhood
If your an introvert, then stay-at-home motherhood can present difficulties in getting the energy recharge you need. Especially for mothers of young children who are not yet in school. This means you are with others for 12-14 hours a day without a break. Constantly tending to the needs of young children can be exhausting, in and of itself. But exhaustion can be magnified if your mind and body need solitude for recharge and you are not receiving it.
How to Leverage Your Introverted Nature as a Mom and Gain Energy
If you are an introverted mom, then the solitude you crave is no longer a luxury, but a necessity. You need not feel guilty for taking time for yourself, because ultimately, this time away is going to energize you to care for your children and family better.
So what can you do to carve out some solitude in your day?
Rise earlier in the morning, if possible.
This was the biggest game-changer for me. For many years, my children were my alarm clock. I would start my day reactive to their needs and carry that the rest of the day. Waking up early allowed me to have time to myself to think and anticipate my day. More than anything, though, taking just a few moments in the morning to be by myself gave me the space I needed to be mentally ready for the day.
When I first started doing this, I had infants and toddlers that were not yet sleeping through the night. To me, 5 minutes to myself to drink coffee in peace and think was enough to satisfy my need. So if you too have small children who still wake in the night, give yourself some grace and set a reasonable wake up time. You still need sleep! And if getting up earlier just isn’t possible right now, no worries. There are other opportunities to carve out time for yourself.
Swap chores at naptime for you-time.
This one was really hard for me at first. Give up the only uninterrupted time I had to check things off my to-do list? That was a big ask. Friend, can you spare 20 minutes at naptime to take your own nap, read a book, or journal? Or maybe 20 minutes to dive into a hobby? Trust me, the dishes, toys and mess can wait. Actually, I think pretty much anything on your to-do list can wait 20 minutes. If it waited the several hours of the morning as you were waiting for naptime, it can wait 20 more minutes. You won’t regret the energy boost you feel and carry with you the rest of the afternoon.
Go for a walk.
Especially when your kids are young and still in strollers, this is a great time to get outside and think. As they get older, they may need to stay home with dad while you go if you are looking for time by yourself. Walks are great opportunities to talk and connect with your kids as they get older, so you will have to decide beforehand what it is you want or need.
Build a quiet hour into your routine.
As your children grow older and begin dropping naps, it’s still important to build some down time into the day. My kids would usually nap right after lunch, so when they stopped napping, we just continued to carry that routine of quiet time into our day after lunch. What you require during this time is entirely up to you. It may be quiet play in their rooms, reading, or a show. Do what works for you and your family. Just make sure you utilize this time to do things that will recharge your batteries, and not just get your to-do list done.
Bottom Line: you’ve got to be intentional.
If you notice, all the above suggestions require you to be intentional about making time to prioritize your needs and introverted nature. If you simply wait for an opportunity to recharge to present itself, I reckon you’ll be waiting a very long time. An added benefit of being intentional about scheduling this time each day is that you’ll likely determine what you’ll do ahead of time. That way, when the opportunity presents itself, you are ready to capture every minute. Even just 10 minutes carved out of your day to tend to you and your introverted needs can make a huge difference for your mental, emotional and spiritual well-being. So do yourself and your family a favor, and schedule some daily bouts of solitude into your day.