Do you struggle to find time for yourself as a stay-at-home mom? Does the thought of taking some downtime while there’s an endless list of responsibilities create feelings of guilt? We all have the gift of 24 hours in a day. If you want more time for yourself but are struggling with how to manage time as a stay-at-home mom, it may not be better time management you need. It may just be a simple shift in priorities.
Today, there is an endless onslaught of things vying for our attention. If we aren’t careful, these competing attention seekers can, unbeknownst to us, begin to dictate how we should spend our time. Our to-do lists can quickly fill up with tasks we feel like we “should be doing.” All the while, we’re neglecting time spent on the things that actually matter to us.
This is where prioritization helps. To prioritize means to arrange or deal with tasks, projects or goals in an order of importance, addressing the most important items first. What I love about this is that it’s deeply personal to each individual and based on your own vision and goals for you and your family.
For example, let’s say you love gardening and find it to be a great stress relief. It would be worthwhile to make time in the garden a priority. You’d walk away fulfilled, de-stressed and better equipped for the challenges that are bound to come your way. Likewise, an introverted mother who craves solitude would be wise to make time alone a part of her daily routine. Some may find these activities pointless or drudgery, but for others, it’s the very thing that feeds their soul.
Proverbs 29:18 tells us where there is no vision, the people perish. The truth is, our seeming lack of time isn’t a management problem, it’s a vision and priority problem. If we never take the time as mothers to truly think about what is important to us and what we need for our own well-being, then it’s easy to get swept away in the tide of everyone else’s needs and wants. When you are clear on your personal values and needs, you can better assess if your daily activities are working for you or against you.
Reflect to Help You Determine What Your Priorities Are
To determine what it is you value and need, I encourage you to first grab a notebook and pen. Then sit down with God and take some time to pray and reflect. Ask yourself the following questions:
What would the perfect, routine day look like?
If I had a day to myself with zero responsibilities, what would I do?
If I could make time for anything in my daily routine, what would it be?
What are the parts of my day I don’t particularly care for? Why?
What are the parts of my day that zap my energy or steal my joy?
What would I love to do in the next week? month? year?
What do I want my life to look like?
These questions will hopefully help you begin to draw out what you value and need. It will also help you see the things you enjoy or don’t enjoy and the activities that zap your energy. You may find some common themes reoccurring in your answers. Note these!
For example, maybe you found that reading a good book came up in your answers to the perfect routine day and also something you’d like to make time for. This could indicate that reading a good book is something important to you and worth making time for. Meanwhile, you may discover that you actually don’t enjoy making the homemade sourdough you’ve been baking for the last year. Perhaps it started as something new and fun but has since become a chore you no longer enjoy. Reflecting on your answers will help you start to gain clarity and vision for what’s truly important and necessary for you.
Reassess Your Day
Once you’ve gone through your answers and found some clarity, you can begin to take inventory of your day and see habits and routines you’ve settled into that may not align with your values and needs. This is where you can begin to cut out what is no longer working, or at least put it lower on the priority list, and start building new routines around your top priorities.
With this knowledge in hand, it becomes much easier to plan your day and schedule time for the things that are at the top of your priority list, i.e. the things that matter to you and fill your cup.
Yes, you will still have daily responsibilities and to-do’s that you don’t necessarily enjoy. Unloading the dishwasher, anyone??? These are a part of life. However, instead of filling all of your time with these tasks, you are putting a limit on it each day. This limit allows you space to make time for yourself. It also gives space for the things that are going to move the needle in the areas that matter to you.
Final Thoughts
So, if you want more time for you and the things that matter most, it’s time to shift your priorities. To do this,
- Take time with God and reflect. Answer the questions above to start to see what it is you value and enjoy.
- Analyze your answers. Look for common themes or things that stand out. Ask the Holy Spirit to point things out to you.
- Look at your current routines. What’s working and what isn’t?
- Pick your most important priority, and start making time for it in your daily calendar.
It’s important to note to start small. When we try to make massive shifts with an all or nothing mentality, it usually backfires because the abrupt change can be difficult to sustain, especially with small children. Start small, perhaps adding one new thing. Once that routine has been well-established, move onto the next. It may feel like nothing is changing, but I promise you that over time, these small changes will compound to massive change as you intentionally build a life you love.
Looking for Time Management Tips? You’ll enjoy How to Thrive as a Stay-At-Home Mom: Appointment Planner!